...Thursday, September 8...
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Goodbye and realizations

After ignoring and actively forgetting about HipTipsFromTheHomeless for a while — assuming that no one misses it in the least, no one gives its absence a second thought, and my non-Tumblrs have by now stopped checking it all together — I think I need to give a little eulogy.

I’m done. I’ve posted something like 100 posts on homeless people’s best and worst tips and tricks for hipsters, and I’m bored with it. And if I’m bored with it, then god only knows, you’re certainly bored with it. In fact, you’re probably only still reading this due to your excitement that you won’t have to scroll past my posts on your Tumblr feed anymore (that conjecture only applies to my whopping 16 Tumblr followers, who are mostly comprised of friends, family, and friends of family — and maybe a few who followed me back having promised to do so, and whose posts I found so annoying that I promptly unfollowed: sorry).

And there’s a bunch of Tumblr gibberish that anyone out there who reads this from the actual site hiptipsfromthehomeless.com will probably find boring and incomprehensible. Onward.

I’ve learned a few things keeping up this site, and none of them have to do with efficiently using my time. One is that the unifying theme of hipsterism is not denial of hipsterism or skinny jeans or pompousness — these are but evidence, symptoms. My emergent realization is that incongruence is the concept that binds hipster culture. Thus we have $100 Ray Bans on a head that hasn’t washed its hair in several days and wears tattered Goodwill vests. Thus we have the Sleigh Bells line: “six six six six six like the pentagon.” Thus we have cute blond girls with Wu Tang tattoos on their necks. Thus we have wealthy kids masquerading as destitute homeless people.

Incongruence can be funny. In fact, many of the panhandler signs I’ve posted rely on their incongruency for a glance, a laugh, and a buck. And in some ways, I’ve tried hard to turn their hipster-influenced sense of humor in to page views and unique visits, etc. But my main barrier to actual Tumblr success was a reliance on my own industry to create content. User-generated content is what all successful tumblrs have in common — that or torrential, surprising, double-take-worthy incongruence. And I don’t have the time to aggregate photos and thoughts and posts, while pouring out my own incongruent photos and thoughts, at the pace required to create a tableau of images and thoughts that have nothing to do with each other except their having nothing to do with each other.

So this is my last post. Almost makes me sad — not that I won’t have this outlet, but that I’m giving up on an idea. As an outlet, HipTips gave me a way to critique and comment on other people and their attempts at making a shitty life work for them. Commenting on culture and society is something that I love — and making fun of people is something I treasure — but this forum is played out. Makes me wish I’d chosen a less-specific, less-themed URL for this blog so I could write about something else. Oh well.

I do have some other projects I’m working on now, so don’t worry that I’ll be lost in an abyss of no-blog-to-upkeep. But I won’t tell you what they are here because those other projects don’t want to be associated with This Me. Never fear: I persist.

HipTipsFromTheHomeless says: “Goodbye.” I’ll see you somewhere else.

Tags: hiptipsfromthehomeless goodbye adios
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...Thursday, September 1...
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 ”Please Help: My people have been prosecuted for centuries because of their appearance. We mean you no harm, we are a peaveful, loving race who wish to live in harmony. If only you understood! Please give what you can: food, water, money, love :)”
OK, she gets a pass for saying “prosecuted” instead of “persecuted,” and maybe I helped her out with a little puncuation here and there, but we all know that I posted this because of the boobies. That said, don’t we all know that mermaids use shells as bras? Did The Little Mermaid sell us all a lie about mermaid attire???

 ”Please Help: My people have been prosecuted for centuries because of their appearance. We mean you no harm, we are a peaveful, loving race who wish to live in harmony. If only you understood! Please give what you can: food, water, money, love :)”

OK, she gets a pass for saying “prosecuted” instead of “persecuted,” and maybe I helped her out with a little puncuation here and there, but we all know that I posted this because of the boobies. That said, don’t we all know that mermaids use shells as bras? Did The Little Mermaid sell us all a lie about mermaid attire???

Tags: homeless mermaid homeless mermaid sign panhandle somewhere between hot boobs
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reblogged via right-track-babyyy-deactivated2
...Wednesday, August 31...
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Wondering why this sign was discarded. Seems like a winner to me.

Wondering why this sign was discarded. Seems like a winner to me.

Tags: Sign cardboard homeless panhandle divorce lawyer funny aggregator
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reblogged via mydeepest-fear
...Monday, August 29...
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Begs at least one question with an obvious answer: Who is posing with whom here? Is she really a super model-panhandler and he’s an adoring fan?
Obviously, he’s the panhandler with the ironic sign — one that, if true, would obviate the need for panhandling in the first place: not just ironic, oxymoronic. Another question begs for attention: Why pose with the dude? Does she believe that she’ll be mistaken for the super model in the shot?
OR, does she just enjoy the sign without any need to stoke her vanity or even without any awareness that her not-quite-model caliber attractiveness would render the picture an exhibition of her ego?
Hip Tip: Police your irony statements for hints of self-importance; nothing is less hip than betraying your inflated ego.

Begs at least one question with an obvious answer: Who is posing with whom here? Is she really a super model-panhandler and he’s an adoring fan?

Obviously, he’s the panhandler with the ironic sign — one that, if true, would obviate the need for panhandling in the first place: not just ironic, oxymoronic. Another question begs for attention: Why pose with the dude? Does she believe that she’ll be mistaken for the super model in the shot?

OR, does she just enjoy the sign without any need to stoke her vanity or even without any awareness that her not-quite-model caliber attractiveness would render the picture an exhibition of her ego?

Hip Tip: Police your irony statements for hints of self-importance; nothing is less hip than betraying your inflated ego.

Tags: girl hobo homeless pretty sexy summer super model sign panhandle somewhere between
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reblogged via breezytommy
...Thursday, August 25...
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Excellent use of zombie-humor and commiseration with ex-wife animosity, sir.

Excellent use of zombie-humor and commiseration with ex-wife animosity, sir.

Tags: ex wife hobo homeless man money shot gun homeless sign aggregator zombie
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reblogged via un-c0ntrolable
...Wednesday, August 24...
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gravityrevolt:
this is hannah, a friend i met along the way. she and her boyfriend and dog are hitchin all through texas together, pretty cool people to meet and hang out with for a bit. 

Soft spot for punks this morning. Not sure how people from outside Austin in Texas feel about homeless punks: good luck, Hannah.
That said, the gutter punks in my neighborhood are the scum of the earth: Marin County asshole spoiled kids who think harrassing job-holders and pretty girls and breaking into and keying cars are expressions of their individuality. Fuck them.
But this girl, Hannah: she seems nice.

gravityrevolt:

this is hannah, a friend i met along the way. she and her boyfriend and dog are hitchin all through texas together, pretty cool people to meet and hang out with for a bit. 

Soft spot for punks this morning. Not sure how people from outside Austin in Texas feel about homeless punks: good luck, Hannah.

That said, the gutter punks in my neighborhood are the scum of the earth: Marin County asshole spoiled kids who think harrassing job-holders and pretty girls and breaking into and keying cars are expressions of their individuality. Fuck them.

But this girl, Hannah: she seems nice.

Tags: austin texas help a punk get drunk homeless punk travel homeless sign Honesty is the best policy somewhere between
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reblogged via gravityrevolt-deactivated201202
...Tuesday, August 23...
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Once again: WRONG.
These are two good lookin’ individuals, primed for resorting to the last resort, eager for their first foray into the first profession. Still innocent and smooth enough to draw a good dollar.
Perhaps, “Too dreadlocked and stinky to prostitute,” would be more accurate.
In case you missed it, this is a classic example of the archetypal signage that repeats itself over and over again. I usually don’t post the most common signs, but these two seemed to contradict their sign so egregiously that I had to pass it along.

Once again: WRONG.

These are two good lookin’ individuals, primed for resorting to the last resort, eager for their first foray into the first profession. Still innocent and smooth enough to draw a good dollar.

Perhaps, “Too dreadlocked and stinky to prostitute,” would be more accurate.

In case you missed it, this is a classic example of the archetypal signage that repeats itself over and over again. I usually don’t post the most common signs, but these two seemed to contradict their sign so egregiously that I had to pass it along.

Tags: homeless miami prostitute south beach sign panhandle too ugly to prostitute archetypal signage somewhere between
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reblogged via littlepinkcorvette
...Monday, August 22...
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It’s Oscar the Grouch looking to abandon his old cramped quarters for a luxurious new mansion.

It’s Oscar the Grouch looking to abandon his old cramped quarters for a luxurious new mansion.

Tags: homeless oscar the grouch oscar funny aggregator mansion
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reblogged via junnkyard
...Friday, August 19...
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This dude could learn something from this dog. He’s missing the “Pay Me!” portion of the sign, though I do appreciate the ironic reverse psychology implicit in insulting the hand that feeds you.

This dude could learn something from this dog. He’s missing the “Pay Me!” portion of the sign, though I do appreciate the ironic reverse psychology implicit in insulting the hand that feeds you.

Tags: Fuck You Hobo Sign homeless ironic reverse psychology aggregator panhandle
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reblogged via suicidaltriceratops-deactivated
...Thursday, August 18...
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Caption contest:
"I NEED BEER and A RED HEAD with WHIP CREAM ___ ___________"
Fill in the blanks by submitting here.

Caption contest:

"I NEED BEER and A RED HEAD with WHIP CREAM ___ ___________"

Fill in the blanks by submitting here.

Tags: funny homeless people beer red head whip cream sign panhandle somewhere between caption contest submit
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reblogged via lizlayman11